Poo-Po Platter Writes Home

My Dearest Mama and Papa, Emmak, Tongi, Katu, Lip-Lip, Big Solly, Little Solly, Yamsu, Hatpha, Cortu, Poga-Pogo, Sim-Sim, Tuta, Dilbop, Frapok, Katau, Masul, Binjat, Zha-Zha, and all my beloved Platter cousins, aunts and uncles. Dear Grandma and Grandpa Platter and Maw-Maw Mary,

Poo-Po be loving Canada so much but country have terrible big money problem, no can even afford to pay sun to shine here! Thank God Canada able still afford politicians. Make me feel bad they get such small salary for much good work, but Poo-Po work hard, send tax to government, try to help. Too bad Canada Government not able afford even little bit sunshine for small
town like Funky - maybe next year be better.

But economic woes of Canada not keep Poo-Po from prospering! All Poo-Po had when landed was raft made of Clorox and DUX bottles and 2 plastic fruit-trimmed hat and now - small year later - have own business and snug little float house. Poo-Po being so very happy! Only thing Poo-Po miss is family and hope soon all join me.

Poo-Po have nice place. Is floating house on dock near cafe. High tide we be level with dock. Low tide Poo-Po climb 26 feet of ladder down to reach house, which by then sit on gravel bar. Tide come in, tide go out, twice a day - like live on seat of swing. View change alla time. Good thing Poo-Po land in raft at low tide. Public beach gone at high tide.

I paint it myself, a nice green like fern months ago - but paint still dripping - never dry. In this place they paint wood before build house, because it never dry enough to paint again. If one of brothers can invent alcohol-based paint that dry out wet wood without exploding we all be rich and everyone in family can come to Canada, help support poor cash-starved government. Boys can play in Fijian soccer league and drink plenty Kava. I give some Kava you send to Ling Wong who drink anything most of time and who pinch Poo Po's bum every time. He say it make him stone-cold sober - once he able talk again. He seem very much friendly.

Only took Poo-Po few days decide what to do here once stop being seasick. No sunshine here, just rain, rain alla time alla time. So no tans here - everyone either rust or grow moss, which depend on body chemistry, so Poo-Po think tanning salon big ticket to success. And everyone soon want Poo-Po's secret of hair that shed water! So Poo-Po open beauty shop and
every one now has beautiful Polynesian Perm. Please send another 40 gallon drum of shark-liver oil, can't find in Canada beauty supply catalogue.

Hope you all well, you tell Poo-Po - Fiji Government still got lots money? Sun still come up every day in Fiji?

Love and kisses, I be missing all of you most terrible.
Your beautiful daughter, sister, cousin, niece and grandchild,
Poo-Po